


Purple Vegetable Pictograms

by Dreamin



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: F/M, Prompt Fill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-01
Updated: 2019-06-01
Packaged: 2020-04-05 21:00:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19048312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dreamin/pseuds/Dreamin
Summary: Chloe needs help deciphering some odd texts from Lucifer.





	Purple Vegetable Pictograms

**Author's Note:**

  * For [afteriwake](https://archiveofourown.org/users/afteriwake/gifts).



> Let's say this one's set somewhere in Season 2.
> 
> afteriwake sent me a Deckerstar prompt -- eggplant emoji, and I ran with it. :)

Chloe Decker woke from a very nice but unsettling dream about her partner to the sound of her phone chirping. Groaning, she turned on the lamp before picking up her phone.

The text from Lucifer was nothing but a single emoji, specifically an eggplant.

She stared at it as she sat up, her brow furrowing. _He woke me in the middle of the night just to send me a vegetable?_ She typed back, **Lucifer, what the hell?** _He’s sent me odd texts before, but nothing like this._

His response was instantaneous. **Not clear enough for you, Detective? How about this?** The text ended with three more emojis – a pair of lips, another eggplant, and drops of water.

She shook her head in disbelief. **If you’re craving Eggplant Parmesan, just order it. I wouldn’t even know how to make it.**

**I can’t tell if you’re being deliberately obtuse or if you truly are ignorant.**

Chloe rolled her eyes. **What I am is exhausted. You can tell me about your search for a midnight snack tomorrow.**

* * *

When Lucifer strolled into the precinct the next morning, he didn't mention the texts. Chloe assumed their conversation had been forgotten.

That night, she woke to another bewildering text – a peach and another eggplant.

She huffed in annoyance then typed back, **I’m not driving to the store then to your place just because you’re hungry.**

**Ignorance, it has to be. Do us both a favor and ask Miss Lopez what those specific emojis mean.**

**Not at one in the morning, Lucifer.**

***sigh* Fine.**

**Why don’t you just tell me?**

**In this case, it would be like having to explain a joke.**

***eyeroll* If you say so.**

* * *

The next day, she found Ella in the breakroom, making herself a cup of coffee. The brunette grinned when she saw her.

“Hey, Decker. You looking for Lucifer?”

“Hi, Ella,” Chloe said, smiling weakly. “Actually, I was looking for you. I, um, need some help.”

“New case? I haven’t heard anything.”

“No, it’s … personal.”

Ella nodded sagely. “Dating advice.” She carried her mug to one of the empty tables and sat down. “The Love Doctor is in. Tell me all about it.”

“It’s not that,” Chloe insisted as she sat down across from Ella and pulled out her phone. “I keep getting these weird texts from Lucifer. He said to ask you what they mean.”

“Did he now?” Ella asked, intrigued. “Show me.”

Chloe pulled up their conversations then handed the phone to Ella. She scrolled through the texts, her grin widening with each passing moment. “I didn’t know you and Lucifer were together, congrats!” She handed back the phone. “I thought you two were still in the ‘dancing around each other’ stage.”

“What are you talking about?” Chloe asked, utterly confused. “Lucifer and I are just friends.”

Ella scowled. “If that’s the case, then I really need to teach that guy proper emoji etiquette. You don’t just send somebody an eggplant out of the blue.”

“What. On. Earth. Are. You. Talking. About?”

“Oh, sorry. Um, how do I put this delicately? That … particular emoji equates to a certain part of the male anatomy when it’s in a certain state.”

Chloe stared at her. “You mean…? What about the others?”

“The next one was a reference to, well, satisfaction by oral means.”

She buried her face in her hand, her cheeks burning. “I’m almost afraid to ask, what about the third one?”

“Lucifer really digs your butt.”

“Oh God…” She dropped her head onto her folded arms, too embarrassed to speak.

“Now is definitely not the time to bring my father into this,” an all-too-familiar voice said from behind her.

Chloe prayed he would just go away but Ella was more direct. “What the hell, Lucifer? You can’t just send a lady an eggplant, you gotta wine and dine her first. Make her feel special.”

“If you must know, Miss Lopez, I sent the Detective those texts when I was feeling very much … not myself.”

“It’s okay,” Ella said sympathetically, “we’re all adults – you can say ‘drunk.’”

Chloe lifted her head to look up at Lucifer curiously. “I thought you don’t get drunk.”

Lucifer rolled his eyes. “I don’t. I’ve been feeling rather low lately and when I sent those texts, I was-”

“Lonely and horny?” Ella guessed, smiling a bit.

“Thank you for your input, Miss Lopez, but the Detective and I can take it from here,” Lucifer said pointedly.

“I sure hope so,” Ella said as she got up, coffee in hand. “Just remember – romance, then eggplants.” She giggled as she left the room.

Chloe’s head dropped to her arms again as she was reminded of just how embarrassing the conversation had gotten. She heard Lucifer sit down in Ella’s vacant chair but decided to ignore him. _He’ll go away when he’s bored._ But he didn’t and after a moment, she tentatively looked up.

Lucifer smiled apologetically. “You’ll have to forgive me, Detective – it seems I got a little ahead of myself.”

“A little?” she asked, sitting up fully. “Lucifer, you were asking me for,” her voice dropped to a whisper, “sex,” then it went back to her normal tone, “and we’re just friends. Not to mention partners.”

“Yes, but…”

“But…?”

“I want more.”

“Kinda obvious there,” Chloe muttered. “Well, now, anyway.”

“Yes, I apologize for the bluntness. I’m usually much more charming, but it would seem that you bring out my baser instincts.”

“Right…” She got up, plastering a fake smile on her face. “Well, I guess I should be thankful it wasn’t a dick pic.”

Lucifer at least had the decency to look offended. “I would never…”

“Uh huh. As tempting as your offer is, I’m going to have to decline.”

She headed for the door but was stopped by a hand on her upper arm. _I didn’t even hear_ _him stand up._ Turning to face him, she was struck by the imploring look in his eyes.

“Detective,” he murmured, “Chloe, if I did take the time to woo you properly…”

She smiled a bit. “Then maybe you won’t need an emoji to get my attention.” _I’m playing with fire, but what a way to go._

Lucifer grinned. “No more purple vegetable pictograms from me, I promise. Are you busy tonight?”

She grinned back. “You’re just in luck, Trixie is spending the night at Dan’s. I was going to attempt Eggplant Parmesan for dinner.”

“Is that so?” he asked, smirking. “I’d hate to miss it.”

“Great. My place, seven, bring your appetite.”

Lucifer chuckled. “Rest assured, Detective, I will be very hungry tonight.”


End file.
